Some pictures from the other night.
My memory is hazy, I mostly remember being freezing, hugging people a lot, and drinking a lot of homemade alcohol.
Honestly, Coalface Balltits is the best thing you could ever get tattooed anywhere on your body.
Sicktits is not as good. But still pretty good.
Im just assuming my mates don’t have any issue with having their drunken heads on my blog. 
My most favourite cowboy boots, they are super-tacky faux snake skin, and they cost me ten dollars on sale at Payless Shoes or something.
They’ve been held together with Gaffer Tape for a year, they got holes in their soles and I can’t wear them when its raining.
But yesterday I found the exact same pair in the op-shop, and they were brand new and I was so happy I almost cried.
I found out that a friend of mine once got a foot-job off some girl!
Are you kidding me?!
And he wasn’t even grossed out.
You’d better believe I’m never lettin’ anyone put their feet anywhere near my junk.
Also I heard a really great generalisation.
“Kiwi chicks are all filthy and don’t even care about going arse-to-mouth.”
This is maybe slightly unfair, because I’ve known a couple of New Zealand ladies and none of them ever seemed to be particularly ‘filthy’. But I never tried to put anything in their butts. It is still a funny story.
It might be fun to write a novel and every chapter could explore a ridiculous generalisation or rumour. One twin is always evil, old people only have boring stories about wars and where they got their jumper, New Zealand babes like going arse-to-mouth. And so on.
Okay! Feelin’ conflicted!
I just ticked something off my list that I’d been wanting to do for a long, long time.
So, thats great. BUT I also may have gone ahead and broken my own brain a little bit and gotten all jealous about certain things. Some of those things include some other lady’s truly spectacular breasts.
I’m doin’ kind of fine right now, because I’ve been dosed up on either codeine or valium since Sunday morning, but I have a feeling this is just going to be one more dumb thing to weep about next time I get blue.
I had a really weird night on saturday with this guy. And I KNEW he wouldn’t remember it, but he’s all “nah baby, i’ll remember it”. Yeah, nah.
He was alternating between being really, really sweet, and reminiscing about stuff from forever ago, including bits and pieces about the first time we got together, and then switching over to weird-lecture-guy, telling me how I should be living my life, and how I should be feeling about certain stuff (just FYI, his erect penis was still inside me at this point), and then I got a little upset, which seemed to surprise him, and he went back to being really very nice, and then he turned into sort of a creep and started asking me all these questions about this other guy that I’m seeing (again. penis. inside me. movin’ around and whatever), and then telling me that if things were just a little different we would be together… You can throw into the mix several little breaks to go and get a drink of water or take a piss or something, and also several attempts to put parts of his own self into my butt, and there you have it. The weirdest shag of my entire life.
And he doesn’t remember, so its hard to talk to him about it. He doesn’t really understand how that stuff can affect me.
I mean, the attempts to anally penetrate me, he knows how I feel about that. But the other stuff. Its a hard subject to raise, hard to talk about, and he’s just not really interested in hearing it. He’s so firm in his beliefs about where he and I are at, and where we will (and will not, ever) end up, and then he gets out of it sometimes and it all just seems to go out the window. He says whatever he wants, and because he was off chop when he said it, it doesn’t count?
I can recall several times when he’s done this, and he doesn’t remember a single thing.
I try not to let it affect me, but sometimes its just like… he’s sat me down, told me christmas is coming early this year and I’m getting that pony I always wanted, and that pony wants to take me out to dinner and buy me pretty dresses and hold my hand when I’m feeling lonely.. and then he has an orgasm, falls asleep, and wakes up with no memory of it.
I think he needs to be held accountable for the things that come out of his mouth.
Next time this shit happens, I’m dragging his arse to Las Vegas and getting a quickie wedding. Cunt.
I am considering drinking pine-o-cleen to get rid of this cold.
Going to the doctor this afternoon to determine whether or not this sprained ankle is actually broken. I was chasing my housemate’s dog through north lismore and tripped. Stupid Lismore. Even the footpaths have potholes.
Pretty sure a whole bunch of snot flew out of my face when I sneezed just now. Play it cool, Miriam.
